July 24, 2023
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I Reach for my Head the Moon
By Viktoria Valenzuela
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I Reach for my Head the Moon
By Viktoria Valenzuela
Despite birth order we are one age;
I reach for my head the moon.
No one tells you that being 40 means,
From now on, everything you are aware of will hang on you
It will hurt more than ever.
That the babies you gave birth to (pushed or cut out of you) burn like the sun,
They rise and set everyday just for your heart and hands and
Growing stronger in bone and back, unlike
The morning’s news holding pictures of dead bodies you didn't want to know you had to keep up with.
Your head, the moon, becomes pockmarked, cratered into by doleful meteorites.
You seek the warmth of children against your face. Deeply hold to their lamp of life
...because no one will tell you about your death.
Or how much the children will need you to leave a legacy and
your consciousness won’t ever age. Timelessness is awareness.
No one can tell you how the Earthrise will block your view of the sun
or how you will float away reaching for your head, the moon.
You’ll be reading a news item, squinting for sunlight in the end.
Sweating, and scowling, the children plant you in time.
You mother. You moon.
You omniscient forever.
Viktoria Valenzuela
Viktoria Valenzuela is a Chicana m(other)writer, editor, educator, and organizer. Since her diagnosis of fibromyalgia with PTSD, she has earned a Master of Arts degree in English Literature, Creative Writing, and Social Justice. She also serves as the San Antonio chapter lead for Women Who Submit, is the nonprofit executive director at Voices de la Luna, and associate publisher at Conocimientos Press. Valenzuela's recent work is published widely in such books and collections as Puro Chicanx Writers of the 21st Century, Wordgathering, The Zoeglossia Anthology: We Are Not Your Metaphor, and online at Mutha Magazine.
Image Description: Viktoria Valenzuela, a prieta Chicana with long silver and black curly hair, is wearing triple-hooped silver earrings, a cobalt blue dress with large printed pink, yellow, orange flowers and red Mexican corozones de fuego against a white and black sunlight background.