Dec. 4, 2022
Audio
Beginnings
By Nathan Say
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Beginnings
By Nathan Say
My beginnings were a humble, meager, flopping, thump that began
Too early, not enough. Fear crept like waves that tumbled onto a body
Like a mistake. A young child, my birthmother, breathing life into a body
So small, a pulsing hand could crush me when they didn’t want to.
She told me, I was blue, like a frozen icebox. She told me,
She was afraid that if breath from her mouth too big, was blown into
My mouth so small, her breath would blow my life into the sky.
This is not a metaphor for whatever comes after: the boys in the cornfield
After school, or the aide sitting me on the toilet seat so rough it bruised my tailbone,
Or the voices in my head that try to break me, over and over again;
For one simple moment, she was worried her breath would take me gone.
There were crystal clear moments where we existed cohesively.
Where she defied God’s gravity, used her
Ribcage to create the dust that became me.
Nathan Say
Nathan Say (he/they) is a poet based out of Las Vegas, Nevada and MacDonald, TN. Actively creating since 2010, Nathan has performed his poems across the country from San Diego, California to Boston, Massachusetts. Nathan was a member of the 2013 BattleBorn Slam Team, he is the author of a poetry cd and self published chapbook, and when they have time, they teach poetry writing workshops online. They are currently an MA Student in Clinical Forensic Mental Health Counseling. Nathan's poetry deals with chronic illness and disability.
You can find them on Facebook and Instagram.
Image description: Nathan Say is a mixed race person with brown skin, short brown hair, brown eyes and a brown beard. They are sitting in a chair, smiling, biting their lip, and holding the camera above their head with both hands. They are shirtless. In the background, a floral rug can be seen.