March 14, 2022
Audio
pure o
By Jill Khoury
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pure o
By Jill Khoury
pure o
—ocd that manifests only with intrusive thoughts, without external compulsions
i am only disappointing myself
i myself am only disappointing
only myself am pointing / at i
am this / i am only dis-
appointing / i appoint myself to dismiss
am i myself in blame only / this self-
appointed pointed i / i feint at me
say self i’m disappointed / i disappoint it’s
what i do / i’m this / my fragile cellophanic membrane
selfish i who is always cleaving to polarities
the point / i have / the one and eternal cellar
i have am / this only / this one i halve
only say it and i’ll disappoint / it points to
self / i dismiss my quaver / i distill and
am pouring / i miss it / i must / i
distribute distance / distort and
cloak myself / i point at this / a distant crescent
a pointed distinction i anoint / i police
the self / oh no / i only meant primordial
to say this / to say one point but this only
only i
Reprinted from Posit
Jill Khoury
Jill Khoury (she/her) is a multiply disabled poet. She is a Western Pennsylvania Writing Project fellow and has taught poetry in high school, university, and enrichment settings. She holds an MFA from The Ohio State University and edits Rogue Agent, a journal of embodied poetry and art. Her poems have appeared in numerous journals, including Copper Nickel, Bone Bouquet, Lunch Ticket, and diode. She has written two chapbooks—Borrowed Bodies (Pudding House) and Chance Operations (Paper Nautilus). Her debut full-length collection, Suites for the Modern Dancer, was released from Sundress Publications. Connect with her at jillkhoury.com or find her on Facebook, Twitter: @sundaygray and Instagram: @sun.day.gray.
Image description: A close-cropped headshot of Jill Khoury, a white woman with short red hair and blue eyes. Her bangs swoop over her forehead and she has a silver nose ring. The shot is composed such that it looks like she is peeking into the frame. Behind her face is the blurred background of an evergreen tree.